Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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