Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
