Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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