i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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