What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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