Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
