Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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