You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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