Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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