Where are you?
In a non slutty way
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
