everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize