My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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