Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
