girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
