My first STD was from a foam party
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
