Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm having to shit out rocks
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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