I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
