I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
