you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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