Im at strip club and am horny
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
