She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
