Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Do vagina's smell?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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