imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
