It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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