I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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