oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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