matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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