the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
