fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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