i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
