the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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