I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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