Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
