who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All the doctor said was why
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
