dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
