She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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