My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
