you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
