can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
