i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
