who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
