I'm jealous of your bromance
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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