Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
