god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
