didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
