what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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