I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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