Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I need to calm my uterus...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
