I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
