So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
