Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
worst night to have a conscience
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
