last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
