thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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