Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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