At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
