Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's rum buckets o'clock
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
