so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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