it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
