I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
