so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
